Alpha male mentality dating
Things that are irritating or large problems are internalized and stuffed away, versus being brought out. The emotions are released through one or many of the following non-exhaustive list of items: You could classify the avoider mentality as a large amount of defences rolled into one complex milieu of mechanisms to prevent any further trauma. Transferring into relationships (should they occur), the avoider stays quiet about many hard to face issues. We take forms of risk asking them on a date, holding their hands, going for a kiss, asking them to meet our friends, taking off their clothes, having passionate sex, bringing up difficult subjects, arguing, proposing marriage…. But, without being willing to deal with sadness, regret, remorse, depression, anger, frustration, and a wide range of negative emotions… These risks start from when we get over our fears to walk up to them and introduce ourselves, with the possibility of rejection, to revealing that we love certain things, and risking them calling those same things childish, stupid, or boring.The party that is more secure in terms of their attachment style enables the creation of a push-pull dynamic in terms of investment, further compounding the fears that the avoider feels.
As emotions go deeper the other person starts to tread on past wounds and any pain left over from past abandonments.
I don’t want to make you angry or scare you off I just don’t know how to express myself. Emotions are walled off so as to not feel vulnerable, leaving intimacy dead in the water.
Though even if there’s some fight involved, it usually moves to flight.
Complicating things is the fact that each person experiences their own set of emotions, and can think of each other as the abandoner or engulfer!
In some cases the individual who distances themselves doesn’t notice, and the abandoner begins to feel like all the energy is coming from within to keep the relationship together.