Application for dating my daughter joke

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______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________When would be the best time to interview your: Father? __________________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TOTHE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS_________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, slowpoke!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the:______________________________________________________________D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:______________________________________________________________ E. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:______________________________________________________________G: What is the current going rate of a motel room?

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat.

Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.

bring it on.i'll go first (with the simple ones)Your mama's so short, i can see her feet in her driver's licence Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2018 Oluwaseun Osewa.

Full Name (first, middle, last) __________________________________ Date of Birth __/___/___ Height_____ Weight_____ IQ_____ GPA______ Social Security #____-____-____ Driver’s License #_________________ Boy Scout Rank________________ Home Address (city, state, zip)_________________________________apt. ___________ ______________________________________________________________ In at least 25 words…What do the words, ” Don’t touch my daughter mean to you” ?

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Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you.

If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight.

Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool, places where there is darkness, places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

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