Courtly love vs modern dating
In a dating relationship, self-gratification is normally the basis of the relationship.
Instead of focusing on God’s pleasure, the couple is often looking for personal pleasure.
It is a choice to wait for God’s best, for His glory.
When a person makes a growing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ the foundation of all decisions—as he or she seeks God’s kingdom—God will provide all that is needed, including the marriage partner prepared by God just for that person.
This oblivious self-centeredness can lead only to dissatisfaction, promoting an attitude of lust (taking what I want) rather than the Scriptural attitude of love (giving unselfishly to others).
Consequently, dating opens the door to many temptations.
"A relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other" puts marriage on the table when the couple have not yet committed to such an end.
This is no different than dating when two people get too intimate too fast (I do not mean sexually) and give away a piece of their heart. I am now married to a wonderful Christian man and we have 4 children.