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I love Netflix and whatever as much as the next girl, sure -- but I also love art galleries and movie theaters and poetry readings!
And yes, I even enjoy going out for a good meal if you can manage not to make a big deal out of it.
Imagine your best friend parting ways with her long-term boyfriend.
You're sitting there over drinks and she is complaining how things ended poorly.
And now with the advent of social media you might find some you really connect with, have chemistry with and great conversations vanish into thin air; which we’ve appropriately termed “ghosting.” And if you really like a guy and you get ghosted, that can wreck you for a bit. We level out our breathing and we can start thinking rationally again.
I seem to keep running into the same problems lately in my dating life. Literally three or four different amazing, beautiful, successful single women in my life keep hitting the same wall as me .
I mean, as much as I adore Greg Behrendt (and here's the proof), they can't all possibly be "just not that into us" .
I wrote a blog post called What (Most) Women Really Want, and all you have to do is scroll down to the comments section to see firsthand the giant Grand Canyon-sized gap between what expectations women have and what expectations men are willing to meet.
But, we’re in the midst of a neurochemical hot mess meltdown attempting to sabotage our thinking while we’re externally trying to pull off “normal” or even worse “causal.” You can forget aiming for Cool Girl.
We might be a CEO, a concert pianist, a neurosurgeon, or a world class athlete, but invariably in our freakouts it will boil down to us feeling like a goofy mess. Are there red flags or reasons why we shouldn’t be dating him? What about our laundry/job/that extra few lbs we put on/our finances? It could be the subject of another article (or series of them!
Our trusted girlfriends will listen to every single detail as if it matters that he said he thought it was great that we both liked the beach, and wouldn’t it be fun to hit the beach together someday … But in those moments we feel like we are all of those things. Did we upset him by saying the wrong thing/doing the wrong thing/being the wrong person? Is now a good time in our lives to date this person? We know which wires to cut, and which wires will send our friend off into another mini-panic explosion. Even women who tend to be sought after by a vast majority of men will go through a Love Panic Attack when they find someone they really really like, or they realize they are being sought after in this particular relationship. I’ve seen it happen to models and women you would assume don’t have relationship concerns, so don’t assume. Which is why treating each other with respect is pretty much de rigueur.
An easy go-to would be to say, "He sounds like a real dick. I've found that in talking with friends in this situation, some women tend to justify break-ups without obvious endings by the man being a dick in the same way that some men I know will blow off a break-up by saying the woman was simply crazy. First of all, just because a woman has different emotional needs than her partner does not mean she has a mental illness. Instead of calling a man a coward I said that he is simply nothing more than that one part of his physical anatomy. That's almost as bad as a group of men sitting around a pub calling a woman the c-word.
It's disrespectful to say that a woman who may come off as clingy, or controlling, or just wants different forms of communication than you, is mentally ill. I mean, it's ridiculous that either of these terms are used so frequently. All of these terms of more descriptive than saying someone is "crazy" or a "dick." They actually describe one aspect of the problem at hand, and looking at that problem directly is going to help you long-term, as opposed to glossing over it with catchy derogative phrases.