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It says that this will only be a problem if one partner refuses to accept the other partner's preferred way of behaving or being loved.
It gives the example of a couple where one might have really enjoyed lively debates that could get quite heated in their family of origin, but their spouse grew up in a family that believed it was important to be quiet and polite.
It says that what it takes for one partner to feel loved might be very different from what it takes for the other partner to feel loved, since ideas of what true love is can have been formed in very different ways, and by different things, like upbringing, culture, gender, and all kinds of life experiences.
It says that since marriage partners are bound to have had different life experiences, their ideas of what true love is are likely to be different.
So it's best to distinguish between things that really matter and things that don't.
The book says that some people think a marriage must be headed towards divorce if they discover their marriage partner has different interests to them, and/or comes from a different background, and/or likes different things. There are ways of coping with differences, and it says that research has found that people with successful marriages are no more similar to each other than those who divorce.
It explains how it's normal for marriages to go through bad patches where there are lots of arguments, though naturally some relationships break down worse than others; and it describes ways of working towards improvements in the relationship.And then I complained to my personal tutor for over half an hour about him as well. It would never have happened if my tutor had allowed me to just get that little irritation about him that I'd had at first out of my system, listened to my concerns, and had been willing to change the way he did things a bit.But the book says it's best not to go the other way and always express unpleasant feelings, always telling a marriage partner when you're upset about something, especially when you're newly married, because that can spark off arguments about things that are just petty little things and so the arguments can get out of proportion.In fact, it's interesting that it says the marriages that are among the most likely to fail are those where people avoid conflict.It says it's essential to clear the air from time to time by getting feelings out of the system, because otherwise resentments and grudges just build up, and each little irritation gets added to the store of resentment, until feelings can even become hateful and very angry.