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This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.Here are some of the cues you need to be aware of: Prior History Volatile, unstable relationships that have had a history of break-ups and re-connections are often laden with unresolved issues.Intimate partners, who can’t live with each other and can’t live without each other, often take agreed-upon breaks from the relationship from time to time, either with or without other partners while they are separated.

These attachments can bring people back together after a separation in ways that new relationships are less likely to do. If one or both partners in a relationship have drifted too far apart to repair the loss, that separated man may be soured against getting involved long-term again or authentically seeking a new long-term relationship.A partner who may have understood a one-night stand that is immediately confessed is less likely to feel as humiliated as one who finds out much later or when a relationship is more established.She will likely assume that person was there from the beginning and the reason for the break-up if her partner asked for the separation.They are at a loss when it happens, but still feel attached to their history, friends, children, financial situation, mutual families, and a deeper caring.After a time apart, they realize that they want to make the relationship work and are highly motivated to make that happen.

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