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You will have to pay tax on the money you receive, but there won’t be any 10% penalty if the money comes from a retirement plan other than an IRA.
If you don’t want to pay all those taxes up front (and who would?
On rare occasions, such as when his self-esteem is especially high (perhaps through some positive feedback he has engineered), he will accept blame but only then if it can be seen as a magnanimous gesture.
A narcissist may do something egregiously abusive to you, yet when confronted will scream at you that she can’t believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such a trivial thing.
Narcissists go into rages in which they blame and criticize others.
They seem like small children throwing huge tantrums, frightening those around them.
Narcissists know right from wrong, they just cannot allow something bad to be their fault.
It is another manifestation of their supreme self-centeredness as well as a protection for their fragile ego.
If you need money to live on now, you can elect to have the funds transferred from your husband’s plan directly to you, rather than transferring them to your IRA.
In order to avoid shame, which the narcissist avoids at any cost, he externalizes blame for all negative events.
As he thinks that someone must be guilty, he almost always attributes the blame to others.
She’ll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish and exploitative behavior e.g., she can’t believe you are so petty and so childish as to balk at her giving your favorite dress away to her friend.
She thought you would be happy to let her do something nice for someone else.