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The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals. (Canadians may substitute 2Kg potato sacks) After a few weeks, move up to 10-LB. potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a 100 lb. - Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. - Statistics show at age of seventy, there are five women to every man.Hopefully this page will amuse the Senior Citizens who visit. 35 years old - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.If you are too young, please tell all the "elders" you know about it; it may brighten their day. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started. You're getting old when you wake up with that morning after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before. You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 12 years old - My mother doesn't really know everything. 45 years old - Let's go down the hallway and ask Mom what she thinks.My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like hell My mood is bad - can you tell? We were before day-care centres, group therapy and nursing homes.

an Old Fart) I feel I have the right to poke a bit of fun at us Old Folks. 25 years old - Well, she might know a little bit about it.

You can move the lens around the screen to view magnification of any screen area. You go to grade school, you become a kid, You play, you have no responsibilities, You become a little baby, You go back into the womb, You spend your last nine months floating.. There is nothing the matter with me I'm as healthy as I can be.

To close the lens, click left mouse button or (press Alt F4). Left-click on the icon offers shortcut for launching the lens again. I have arthritis in both of my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall. You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. Be sure your affairs are in order, your will made out right Or on the way to your grave there'll be a heck of a fight. Dishwashers were human, clothes dryers were long ropes, air conditioners involved melting ice and jogging had something to do with the memory. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our relatives.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. Your supply of brain cells is down to a manageable size. So, if this New Year you feel fairly well, Thank Goodness you're alive, though "Old Age is Hell". Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment and common sense.

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